I am so fucking exhausted feels like it has been my mantra for the last two months.
Last year, I mentioned dealing with a major health issue during NaNoWriMoI mentioned dealing with a major health issue during NaNoWriMo and as the New Year started I was excited to put that behind me.
I was wrong.
For the last two months I’ve been burning the candle at both ends, trying to push myself to write more, read more, exercise more, get out and about. I have been ignoring my body and it gave up at Easter. I’ve spent the last three weekends in bed. I haven’t written anything. In fact, it has taken a week to get up the strength to write this blog post and another week to post it.
I burnt myself out last year and tried with gusto to improve that by doing fun things and working hard to achieve what I wanted. I unfortunately prescribed to the mindset that I would fix myself by pouring myself into the things I love. And while it has helped, I took it too far. I went out too much, spent too much time pushing myself to write, to read and socialise when I needed to rest. I lost sight of why these things were important and they became things I had to do in order to be happy.
I’m about to go on holiday for three weeks for the first time in two years. I’ve released I’ve gotten too bogged down in my day to day life and I have forgotten what I really want. I can’t see the forest because of the trees.
I hope this is making sense because at the moment my mind is so foggy and exhausted I can barely function. I am taking a break for the next two months to focus on my health and reassess what is really important to me as a creator. I want to thank all the people who have been reading and supporting my blog in the last 12 months as it makes me really happy to know I’m not just shouting into oblivion.